if only life could be easy-flowing like a river. then we'll all be a peace. i feel a kind of emptyness in me, like, i dont feel like doing anything. dont want to study, dont want to work. now i know the emphasis of studying hard. one door closes, another opens, but now its like all doors are against me. unless i retake my o levels. but that will never happen, i know it. first, i must learn to trust myself, then overcome loneliness, find a friend in myself. i really want to just be able to study something i have a little interest in. is that so difficult? i really wonder what the rush to having so great results is for. good results to prove that you are hardworking? what the shit is that? i tell myself today, i'm not going to be let down by anything. i will work hard to prove to people that i can study well. wait and see. i believe with the will, there'll be a way. i think i might be on hiatus for this period of time. maybe till next week or something.

i cant be sad. i cant feel so depressed over such a small setback. people in indonesia are worse, they are always living in fear that there might be another earthquake or tsunami. i just saw the news and they were all like crying and in shock. i feel so sad for them. oh well.. life i guess is always full of stuff like that.

3:29 PM

if only life could be easy-flowing like a river. then we'll all be a peace. i feel a kind of emptyness in me, like, i dont feel like doing anything. dont want to study, dont want to work. now i know the emphasis of studying hard. one door closes, another opens, but now its like all doors are against me. unless i retake my o levels. but that will never happen, i know it. first, i must learn to trust myself, then overcome loneliness, find a friend in myself. i really want to just be able to study something i have a little interest in. is that so difficult? i really wonder what the rush to having so great results is for. good results to prove that you are hardworking? what the shit is that? i tell myself today, i'm not going to be let down by anything. i will work hard to prove to people that i can study well. wait and see. i believe with the will, there'll be a way. i think i might be on hiatus for this period of time. maybe till next week or something.

i cant be sad. i cant feel so depressed over such a small setback. people in indonesia are worse, they are always living in fear that there might be another earthquake or tsunami. i just saw the news and they were all like crying and in shock. i feel so sad for them. oh well.. life i guess is always full of stuff like that.

3:29 PM
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