bogoshipda yoochun..

these pass few days have been a crazy one for me. its like a battle with myself. no, actually my feelings and emotions. like sometimes i feel so against something, sometimes i feel so happy abt stuff. i get irritated real easily and i'm pretty sick of stuff. then again, i feel so retarded fantasizing abt stuff and i put myself down like you're never going to meet them anyway, so whats the point of going crazy and all these. i dont even feel like talking to anyone right now. all i want to do is to study study study my korean. i feel like i'm lagging and its so hard to get it right.maybe i'm becomming emo again. where i'm happy just by myself and my music. trying to figure out who i am and whats my role in this society and where will my life take me to in the future. and thinking that if a friendship is only based on the band and nothing else. i'd give up the band cause i want the friendship. well, i dont even know what i'm thinking sometimes. theres just something somewhere in me that feels so irritated for no reason. i cant seem to find the thing. its jehanne's rom tomorrow and whenever i think of her and what mummy said to me about her. i agree with mummy, she's a selfish person. i dont like her again. i know i'm fickle or maybe you can say i'm fake because i smile and talk to her nicely when i see her. but i'm not going to care abt being fake or not anymore. i mean who isnt fake? well, to some people who dont really mean alot to me. and right now, i guess my family means alot to me. just mom dad and cindy. and i'm ok even if i dont have aunts or cousins, they dont really bother anymore... just face it, i've learned the ones who really care and will stand by you are your parents and siblings and everyone else will turn they're back on you. so yea.. i guess i've let loose a little and its time to move on to better things. ajah mandy.

bogoshipda yoochun..

these pass few days have been a crazy one for me. its like a battle with myself. no, actually my feelings and emotions. like sometimes i feel so against something, sometimes i feel so happy abt stuff. i get irritated real easily and i'm pretty sick of stuff. then again, i feel so retarded fantasizing abt stuff and i put myself down like you're never going to meet them anyway, so whats the point of going crazy and all these. i dont even feel like talking to anyone right now. all i want to do is to study study study my korean. i feel like i'm lagging and its so hard to get it right.maybe i'm becomming emo again. where i'm happy just by myself and my music. trying to figure out who i am and whats my role in this society and where will my life take me to in the future. and thinking that if a friendship is only based on the band and nothing else. i'd give up the band cause i want the friendship. well, i dont even know what i'm thinking sometimes. theres just something somewhere in me that feels so irritated for no reason. i cant seem to find the thing. its jehanne's rom tomorrow and whenever i think of her and what mummy said to me about her. i agree with mummy, she's a selfish person. i dont like her again. i know i'm fickle or maybe you can say i'm fake because i smile and talk to her nicely when i see her. but i'm not going to care abt being fake or not anymore. i mean who isnt fake? well, to some people who dont really mean alot to me. and right now, i guess my family means alot to me. just mom dad and cindy. and i'm ok even if i dont have aunts or cousins, they dont really bother anymore... just face it, i've learned the ones who really care and will stand by you are your parents and siblings and everyone else will turn they're back on you. so yea.. i guess i've let loose a little and its time to move on to better things. ajah mandy.